A few days ago, i walked with my son at the beach… He was a sad little boy (almost 10 years old, so still a little boy)…
He was so sad because someone in school said something nasty to him. The tears were in his big brown eyes when i picked him up after school, so i put him under my wing, and we headed of for a long walk at the beach ❤
He is really an amazing boy….. ok… i might be a bit partial… ❤ One of the great things about him (if you ask me, his mom) is that he has a big heart, and he understand deeper things in life, despite his low age.
He was sad, and crying, as someone told him that he was “not normal”… so his question to me, with tears running from his eyes was… mom… am i not normal… My beautiful son has a stoma, a appendix stoma (as he was very sick when he was born) so i did not know if THAT was what he was referring to….. it was not that, he told me… it was just what another boy told him… so we talked back and forth about this issue, and i asked him: are you the one who doesn´t listen when the teacher speaks… his answer was NO… i listen (most of the time.. the mom believes)…. SO i asked him, but are you then the one who cannot sit still… and he said NO (most of the time.. the mom thinks)… so i asked him: are you the one to be in trouble all the time in the school, and his answer was NO (and i know he isn´t.. the mom says)…
Ok, i said (knowing that the boy that my son thought said something nasty to him, is a challenged boy getting into trouble all the time, not having a diagnose by the doctors, but everyone els can see something is not as it should be in the boys)… If you do not have a bag of candy, can you then give candy away? And my son looked at me like i was crazy, and said NOOOO, you cannot give it away, if you do not have it… Great i said. So what if i want to give out something els i do not have, can i then give it away, and he said NOOOO… and laughed at me. Then i asked him: so if this boy do not feel compassion towards others, if he does not feel empathy inside… do you thing he can give that to others? And my son looked at me, and said: mom… you are so right, you cannot give away something you do not have, and it doesn´t matter if it is a physical thing or a mentally thing.. if you do not have it, you can not give it or pass it on to others.
WOW!!! i thought… how could a boy at 9… almost 10… be so much wiser than many adults??? I was impressed, and happy, because now he could see, that what the boy said, had nothing at all to do with him, but all about the boy himself.
I asked my son to do the following then next time this boy (or anyone els for that matter) would try to bulling him, insted of being sad.. just walk away and think WHAT EVER… because if there is no reaction, then the “fun” disappears, and the “fun” calling him “not normal” will go away…… So if you insted of sadness and anger, put in your heart, that it is OK, turn around and walk away… then the “fun” will stop. I know that as who I am, not all I do, is what others would do, and i was one day asked: how can you live SO much in love, in the state of love and compassion… and i just looked at the woman asking me, and my answer was: because i am choosing to live my life this way ❤
Of course you cannot give out what you do not have, that could be candy, but most importantly… if you do not feel compassion, empathy and/or love inside.. then you cannot give it to others. I know that it can be difficult and even I know people, who are not capable of giving this to others, simply because they do not have that inside them selves… I have written a book, about finding your way back to yourself, if you have been so unfortunate to lose your self… you CAN find back, you CAN find out, how to get all the beautiful things back into your life. Will it take time… yes… will it take (sometimes hard) work to do it.. yes… will it be worth it… YEEEESSSSS ❤
You can throw a rock against me, but if i do not pick it up and throw it back, if i just turn my back to you, and say WHAT EVER and walk away, then who is having the issue… for sure not me. At the same time, if you take the weapon away from people… as in their bad behavior or their bad way of treating you, then you take away their weapon.. and there is not more to come after. If you insted, pick up what ever they threw at you, and throw it back, then it could be that start of the next world war… so WHY do it… bad behavior from others, has nothing to do about you, disarm them, and let it go, and you will always turn out to be the bigger person ❤
So if my son at the age of 9 (10) can see it, then it should be SO obvious to all adults in the world… but it is not….
Sending a weekend hug your way ❤